What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
