were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i now understand why vodka
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
