I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize