there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
