My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
