Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
