why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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