lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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