You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
