This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
