It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
