He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize