Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
