I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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