There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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