I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
