worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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