I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize