are you still at the devil's house?
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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