guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize