i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
