Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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