i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
