Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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