There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
