Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
