You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
