Do you still have your period?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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