My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
