No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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