last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
