you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
