Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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