Kiss
Puke
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When did angry sex become our thing?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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