she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
