would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
