this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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