The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
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we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
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My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I party with great urgency now.
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