i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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