I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
