talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
