It's Friday. Sex?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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