My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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