So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize