we're blogging at a bar
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize