I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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