Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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