if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
