How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
