Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
