Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have aggressive nipples.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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