how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
