Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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