just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
