All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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