Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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