lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
